"Dishing the dirt on what it''s really like to work in a vet clinic." Dr. Philipp Schott DVM, author The Accidental Veterinarian

With years of experience as a Registered Veterinary Technician, Frannie O''Callaghan offers an unapologetic window into the daily encounters of the humans who take care of pets. This whip-smart but darkly humorous confessional spans from the Patients who bite, claw, urinate, or defecate in scrub pockets. Are the few and farther in-between moments of wagging tails and slobbering tongues worth it?

Then come the outlandish Clients, including the heinous antics of a local man of the cloth, or the conspiracy theorists convinced of veterinary schemes to "grab ''em and stab ''em." All the way to Coworkers along for the bloody, vomit-filled daily grind. For a job that demands a high skill level and stress-tolerance for relatively little monetary compensation, Vet Techs need a reason to stay. Moments of levity, healing patients, colleagues helping to push through this absurd profession, or cuddling beloved animal companions-somewhere amid the chaos is beauty that brings them to work every day.

Between heavy doses of swearing, snark, licking wounds, and an occasional jab at the heartstrings, SOAP Notes: Irreverent Confessions of a Veterinary Technician dishes up the roaring, goring, and never boring chronicles of veterinary life.