Lost and Lived In

Introduction

This memoir started as my personal journal full of desperation to make sense of what I was going through. I began writing as depression and OCD/anxiety made home of my mind. In my attempts to cope, I also developed anorexia, alcoholism, and trauma from sexual assaults. For about ten years, I lost myself to these struggles. A couple of relapses and time spent in treatment began the difficult road to recovery.

Understanding Mental Illness

As I started to understand the complex web of mental illness inside me, I gained the words I was searching for to build a much-needed bridge. Mental illness can touch anyone, even the most untouchable, seemingly normal lives. Although we don’t all experience mental illness in the exact same ways, unfortunately, it’s often still a familiar darkness that’s misunderstood by the rest of the world. I expanded my writing into a book that could build the bridge of understanding, conversations, support, and hope from loved ones to those struggling.

The Full Tour Inside My Mind

This is the full tour inside my mind as I experienced the darkest times of my life. It’s not a glorified drama of my struggles. It’s the raw, most honest, and unfiltered version of those years, my time in treatment, and a realistically messy recovery. I hope to be a voice for many, a reference for loved ones, and a glimpse of the light for everybody involved. It does get better, and it’s worth the fight.

Trigger warnings are included at the beginning of each difficult topic.