Dead Horses

This collection is a fine balance of attitude and anecdote in the best essay writing tradition. The author muses on topics as diverse as God's gold swing and a triathlon involving horses, women and champagne.

On Modern Medicine:

Once a visit to a doctor involved examining you and prescribing treatment. Nowadays he will not touch you, and he assumes the guise of a simpleton. Present yourself with an axe in your skull and he will not hazard a guess as to the source of your discomfort until you have had X-rays, blood tests, cat scans, ultrasounds and exhausted the possibilities of every diagnostic machine within a hundred mile radius.

On Language:

Language came into being when the female arrived back earlier than expected from the berry picking expedition and found her partner with his head under the bear skin of the lady from the cave next door. Necessity is the mother of invention. He now has a need for language, without it he is dead meat. He has no hope. But if he can blurt out, "I was looking for your lost flintstone," or "It's an old folk remedy for migraine," or even "She made me do it." Then he has a chance, albeit a slim one. We didn't get where we are today without optimism.

On the selling of women:

Surely no one would argue that a man's house should come cheaper than his wife. When was the last time you saw a man walk away from a piece of real estate? Yet they abandon their wives all the time. The difference being the latter have no re-sale value.

This delightful collection, beautifully written, will provoke thought and laughter at the same time.