***THE INSTANT SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER***

This book will single-handedly eradicate the need for parenting and schools. It''s that useful.

It''s a cruel, cruel world out there, a harrowing place filled with crime and illnesses, taxes and grief. And swans. But help is finally here. TommyInnit''s Guide to Survival will teach you how to:

• Navigate peer pressure using simple, fun solutions, such as violence
• Survive being mugged, by humans or animals
• Become famous in various ways, some of which are even morally defensible
• Fall in love - with other actual humans
• Overcome the mean voice in your head
• Quickly and easily defeat Godzilla, sharks with arms . . . and swans

When the apocalypse hits, you need to be ready! So read this book. Read it hard. And then read it again.