We all wish we'd said it first.

Now you can. Here are some ready-made comments to use when you want to update your Facebook or Twitter account but are feeling uninspired or just too lazy to think up something for yourself.

Arranged by topic from Aging and Annoyed through Friends to Work, there should be enough material here to keep you seeming witty and amusing whilst you actually get your act together and write your own stuff.

All entries are 144 characters and under, so good for Twitter and Facebook alike. The name of the game is to either use them as they are or alter to suit your needs. Have fun!