Douglas Fergus wants you to be happy. And laugh. Or at least feel good knowing you''re not the only person who thinks weird is cool. 

He is compelled to share his quirky/humorous/satirical outlook on life in an effort to spread joy to as many people as possible. "Every day since I was about 18, at least two funny ideas have appeared in my head. That''s 30,660 funny ideas. It''s about darn time I wrote a book!" 

Small Portions Cafe doesn''t just push the boundaries of normalcy, it delights in doing so. These highlights give you a taste of what to expect in these wonderfully absurd short stories.

• The complicated world of light bulbs was too much for him.
• He ruined his new love interest with mint flavored coffee pods.
• Young, dumb, broke and hooked on credit. Will his new job as an underwear model save him?
• Koo Koo Birdy Meadow-Johnson showed him how to gently swirl his water counterclockwise and bless it before sipping.
• Did he really loan his only copy of a handwritten manuscript to a Radio Shack clerk? 
• Does his mother really wear combat boots?
• Why she let him take the lawnmower on a Miami Beach vacation.