In the mischievous style of his previous books, Thinking About Everything and Miles of Thoughts, humorist and man of letters Dennis Ford takes to the road and

reveals why heaven is the saddest place

invents the practice of kid swapping

explains how reasonable people will cause the end of democracy

narrates a public radio interview with Jesus

describes how to pretend to be mute to avoid confrontations

divulges Mayberry Sheriff Andy Taylor's fatal habit

provides a sure-fire method to get God to answer prayers

advises against conversing with demon-possessed drain pipes

discovers to his delight that there’s beer in the afterlife

Amid a generous helping of excellent groaners, Ford demonstrates how to practice mindfulness while cooking Ramen noodles,

bestows the Insult to Humanity prize on deserving movies

discloses why the people life dumps on dump on themselves

asks whether we need to chlorinate the gene pool and tells why, if you don’t like fun, you’ll like New Jersey