Jack Samsonite's Foolish Plan for Being Amazing at Everything

including getting a life, getting into Film School, and getting into a girl's knickers

1. Make an amazing(ly bad) short film about zombies . . . or maybe superheroes . . . or just three idiot friends. It has to be deep and meaningful and (most importantly) has to have a scene where I kiss a girl on the mouth.

2. Write the world's best university application ever! (Or at least one that doesn't make me seem like a nob).

3. Don't get expelled trying to complete 1 & 2.

It can't possibly fail . . . right?