These days, I hear postcollege friends wishing their way through their twenties, hoping for better days.

Relationships are a burden, work is a burden, finances are a burden--everything is a burden. The thought seems to be that if they can just get to their thirties, they'll have everything figured out and can finally feel like successful adults. But that's an illusion, as anyone who is in or has already passed through their thirties knows.

We don't grow up because we hit some chronological age; we grow up when we decide to live, when we reach out and grasp hope by the tail and allow it to pull us into the future.

I'm a professor of undergraduate students and I attend a church populated by twentysomethings, so I spend at least six days a week with college- and postcollege-aged folk.

Since in my mind I'm still in my twenties, I'm obviously in my element. But I've been through some stuff and have had a few days of growing up, so I wanted to share some of those stories.