Learn the importance of routine from Gertrude Fjörd-Mettöd, how to Have It All from Queen Victoria (mother of seventeen and Empress of India), how to tell which twin is the Good One and which the Evil, how to turn a Bad Seed into a Good Egg, how to take your charge from Infancy to Infantry (3-21), and of course all about the Medicinal benefits of Gin and Tobacco.

Liberally sprinkled with authentically hilarious Victoriana illustrations, including advertisements for Bob the Empire Builder toys (''Can we annex it? Yes we can!''), ''Who''s the Pater'' longjohns and the amazing steam-powered breast pump (no fatalities since April!), Gin & Juice will make parents everywhere wish it were 1896.