Introduction

For most of my life, the word mother had been a doubled-edged sword. When I was nine years old, my mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia. This monster of a disease robbed my family of their mother and my mother of her family. Many years later, when I married at age twenty-three, I started an unexpected and deeply painful journey through infertility. I found myself in a place where few could ever begin to understand my pain and loss. As I struggled to have a family of my own, I began to reflect back on the loss of my own mother to mental illness. This book is dedicated to my mother, Susan. In writing this, I hope to share the tragic yet beautiful story of her life and to shed some light on the devastating effects schizophrenia has on families.