Joe Binky's Secrets to a Longer, Healthier Life

80 year old Joe Binky has all the answers on how to live a longer healthy life. He has two mottos he lives by: Never do it right if you can get away with doing it half assed. And: Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow.

Never do no stress, he says, it's bad for you. Marry a really crappy cook. I never gained one ounce on Bambi's cooking... You couldn't keep much of it down. I lived all my life on beer, pretzels, and smoked pig entrails, which contain all the good vitamins... It is good to have good genes, which you get from your dead relatives. If you got bad genes, forget it.

You ain't gonna last long anyway.