Partygate? More like party GREAT!

While the UK locked down to prevent the spread of COVID-19, Boris Johnson's Number Ten played host to a series of boozy shindigs. Now, for the first time, you can learn to get wasted like they do in Whitehall. The Downing Street Party Guide will take you through every stage of a successful, pandemic-defying bash, from drafting invitations to answering awkward questions later.

Contents include:

• Decor tips to avoid a John Lewis nightmare.
• The perfect playlist to start a Cabinet conga line.
• How to handle the subsequent police investigation.

WHAT HAPPENS IN DOWNING STREET STAYS IN DOWNING STREET... UNTIL SOMEONE LEAKS IT.

Verity Bigg-Knight has written a . . . book. - Ipswich Pedant

It is truly amazing that this was published. - Bullfighting Weekly

Darling, I don''t have time to read this. Just let me know how much you need for next month. - Sir Adrian Bigg-Knight