Why Do I Write?

Somebody asked me why I write. Well, in my prologue, I explained what I saw and tried to imitate because I just had to do something to make myself feel better about what I actually thought about my living circumstances and life.

In childhood and in most of my life, I had scars and secrets, conflicts in my relationships. I had to find a way to let my true self come out without being knocked out all the time. So, while people in the house or school played or just slept, I had my dreams, fantasies, and desires, and I just wanted to speak up and out.

I used to want to be a DJ because I loved music, loved to see people dance and sing on the Ed Sullivan Show. But I never got the opportunity because of my real-life responsibilities. I felt hurt and had too many secrets and not enough positive support.

So, Chocolate Covered Candy was a band-aid to stop me from bleeding when I felt I was pouring out blood. It stopped me from being a dope fiend too, I guess. It was a lifesaver and companionship when I felt ostracized, nasty, and alone. It was footsteps in the sand for me to see when I was not feeling like walking in this life anymore.

For you, I just hope it is good and entertaining for your read. Not everybody knows embarrassment, poverty, molestation, and childhood depression. Some people don't even know about living single with children and the addictions that come with it. You won't learn it all through my words, but you can become more understanding of that life after experiencing the thoughts of one of its participants. I pray.