Is that gurgle the best you can do? With five years of pleasure ahead of you, there are 101 amusing and infuriating things for you to get up to . . .

Go ahead . . .

· Play your jam sandwich in the DVD machine.

· Worship the cardboard box your most expensive present came in.

· Stick that pea right up your nose.

· Take your place in the middle of your parents'' bed.

· Drop that tiny car in the massive ball pit and scream until your scrambling parents unearth it.

After all, you''re only young once.

Destined to make new parents laugh and/or cry, Sally Norton''s hilarious 101 Things to Do Before You''re Five coaches babies through the essential skills to be mastered in those pre-school days, while guiding grown-ups through the ''joys'' of those first five crucial years.