I may be in the middle of nowhere,
but I still have standards!

Like it''s not bad enough Daddy''s in jail for embezzlement (he''s a super-successful Hollywood agent, btw, and totally innocent), but since my fashion-model mom died when I was a baby (I''m sure you''ve seen the E! True Hollywood Story) I''ve been shipped off to Possum Grape, Arkansas, to live with relatives I''ve never even met. You read that right: Possum. Grape. Not only is there no Starbucks in this town, but I''m sharing a room with a six-year-old and I''m about to miss the biggest social event of the year back in L.A.

I''m not sure how yet, but I will get back to civilization. Until then, I may be stuck on a farm, but no one''s gonna keep me from ruling the roost!